Claw & Ball Torture is the name of the first musical album by Canadian multi-instrumentalist Deadwing Dork. It has fourteen songs spanning many genres, from world, to neoclassical metal, to jazz fusion. All parts are played by the clawed man himself, and only him, except for one sample of an audio clip of Gail Chord Schuler. The album was produced by Scott Oelkers.

The album was released on June 27th, 2017 (Canadian Multiculturalism Day), to critical acclaim. The internet's busiest music nerd, Anthony Fantano, said of the album "Shit's good, man. Solid 9.".

Track Listing Edit

  1. The Church of Gail - 1:43
  2. I Love You Reshiram (JustinRPG cover) - 5:10
  3. Canadian Multiculturalism Day - 2:22
  4. Rescue Kuck - 1:00
  5. Scatman (ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop) (Scatman John cover) - 3:30
  6. Supernanny Fanon Wiki - 7:53
  7. Welcome to the Internet - 2:53
  8. Thanks, I Hate it - 5:02
  9. I Hate Canada - 6:54
  10. OJ is Innocent and I Can Prove it - 0:43
  11. Can't Stop, Won't Stop, Might Stop - 3:59
  12. Pepsi-Cola, Made with Real Sugar - 0:11
  13. All Hail the Claw - 9:19
  14. The Church of Gail (Reprise) - 0:55

Background Edit

Deadwing was inspired to record his first album in early 2017 when Ayreon released their ninth studio album, The Source. Why he didn't do an Ayreon cover on this album, we'll never know, but we do know that the shit's fuckin' cash anyway.

Deadwing started recording in his home studio, nicknamed "The Bear's Den", on the first day of June. He emerged nineteen days later, covered in sweat and... some other substance (it was white), with a just-burned CD-R in his hand, ready to head to the presses with it.

Mr. Dork had trouble finding a record label at first, but then he was like "Everyone's going to this label now." and signed with Pure Noise Records who had sent him a contract via mail the previous month.

No one knows why or how Mr. Scott Oelkers, then-CEO of Domino's Pizza Japan, produced the album, but good on him for it.

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